Day 13

Monday

Journal : My Own


What a contradiction. When tragedy strikes, it brings together people. Especially death of a relative. Today I was privileged to meet and had dinner with my third cousins, including Sr Liza Robert and their uncle Fr Philip Muji. We attended the requiem Mass and funeral of our neighbour, Marion Camillus Muji. She was just 40 years old...such is death, it comes like a thief in the night. So sudden, unpredictable.

Talking about politic was a relief from the usual empty banter. For once I enjoyed the discussion although I wasn't able to contribute much for my lack of knowledge. True, we Christians now, in this Land Below the Wind,  really need a 'miracle' to save our future as rightful inhabitants of this place. But who would 'go the extra mile'? When is the right time to act? ...etc...so many speculations

Someday...maybe I will know more and can contribute better...God's time.

Day 10

Journal: My Own


Friday


"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating
yourself."

-- George Bernard Shaw

How timely that you post this quote...indeed, even though our path doesn't cross but we are still connected somehow. Thank you for being you.


A lot has happened in the ten days that I started to 'own' my life and begin anew. And yes, that quote is really meaningful and applicable to me. 


I am so grateful to my friend and mentor, who is now guiding me in the right direction. May God continue to bless you and your family abundantly. Amen. 


'Someone you click with will have something to offer that can lead to a workable partnership. Figure out a way to combine the skills you both have to come up with something profitable. It's best to keep this connection as a business venture.' New Sabah Times

Day 5

Journal: My Own


Sunday 


How great You are, O Lord!! I am overcome with joy for this new life that You are giving me! Praise be Your Name throughout the earth!


It is my aspiration that every Christian should one day experience God in a Totally Personal way! Amen!


This morning, I attended the talk by Ps David Wong on Christians in Business, together with Kak Lulin and family.

Day 3

Journal: My Own


The "Mind" sees... ATC


Many things are getting clearer now...some are to remain secret, understandably...
Woke up so early, around 4 am plus...so sleepy now...but it was a wonderful day! Amen!

How do you show your love to your loved ones?

"I love you" doesn't mean anything without doing something to complement that sentiment. There are so many kinds of love, that may strike us at different phases of our life, towards different people and situation, and at different levels or intensity. We are all familiar with the three types of love, namely, eros, filial and agape.

What about 'a different kind of love' ? How do one explains it? We each have our personal experience, and therefore interpretation for it.

Let's talk about LOVE for ONESELF.

It is not vanity to love oneself. We have to love ourselves in order to be able to love others. It is our 'gift' to our loved ones;  a self that is contented, fulfilled, happy, positive, enthusiastic, optimistic ~ because they need to see that in us. We are a role model. We should be a pillar of strength, hope, trust and joy to them.

Easier said than done. (to be cont)

Day 2

Journal: My Own

After so many years, I am reunited with significant people in my life. First, my own dear cousin Florence George Killoh. She was the second person after my mum who saw me soon after my birth and she took care of me for a week, given permission by Rev Fr. Michael Henselmans (May God Rest You in Peace, Fr. Thank you so much.) to take leave from her classes. She was in Form Three then. Mum had undergone a difficult labor, and finally had forceps delivery. Kak Lulin took care of both of us. No words of gratitude could ever suffice for her help. God bless you, Kak.


From her, I learned about the reality of the circumstances surrounding my birth. Mum underwent a tremendous difficult period. God bless you, Mum, for bringing me out into this world. God's Mercy is Eternal. In spite of everything, she survived, although she continues to undergo lots of challenging moments in her lifetime. May God reward you abundantly, not perhaps in this lifetime but in the next. I love you so much, mum. Thank you.

MAJESTY

written by Anita Fuhrmann (2008)

Your presence is here in this place

Your unending love, unchanging grace

We've come to worship You

In spirit and in truth

You are welcome, come and take Your place

Be exalted on our highest praise

With hearts full of wonder for all that You are

We bless You Lord, our Saviour, our God

Chorus:

Majesty, our glorious King

All honour, all glory to Your name

Jesus, Lord of all, so beautiful

We proclaim: Forever You will reign

Reminiscing


It was wonderful, while it lasted...a most memorable year, 2010. Some things are better left unsaid, of course, but I feel deep inside me this need to express, to let go, to share...hoping that through this, I will be completely healed.

You are wonderful. I admire everything about you. Your personality, your physique, your career and all the achievements you have accomplished, your intelligence, the studies you have had, your travels, your daily activities, your sports, your blog, your family and friends. And your words. At times you have such power to attract, to inspire, to make one laugh. I found it really cute. Everywhere I go, there would always be something to remind me of you...a song, a book title, a gadget on display, a shirt, etc. I found myself always thinking of you then.

Day 1

Journal: My Own


I don't know what awaits me.
I LET GO of certain things...security, stability, family, familiar surroundings, comfort, even the opportunity to go to KL (sorry mum, someday I will repay for the burnt ticket!)...Yes, I have nothing now...except FAITH in God's Providence, my aspirations and dreams, hope, trust. I know things won't be easy, a NEW BEGINNING...but hardship is not alien to me. I embrace it!
I do have negative emotions because things may not happen as I wish it....uncertainties,fear,doubt,stress.
But I cannot GIVE UP. All these I do for the sake of my beloved children.

I found this article on the net...by J. Johnson

 Its hard to hold on to something that you know would never be yours in any way you think of. You just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while good things never last, some don't even start. 

There are many times in life when we badly want something or someone that we will probably never have, whether the fault lie on us, another person, or the circumstances surrounding it. Sometimes letting go of something is a very hard thing to do, especially if we never really got a chance to do things the way we wanted, because we think the situation might be different if we had the opportunity to try.


We just have to accept life for what it is, things do not and will not always happen the way we want them to, and chances are there are greater opportunities for us in our future. It is easy to miss out on new opportunities if we are still letting something or someone hold us back that we may have hoped to have a chance with but never got. Cut your losses knowing that if a situation or relationship didn't happen like you wanted it to there is always something better out there for you.

How true...I have to keep reminding myself..."It's over!" 
Now, a fresh start...begin anew.

Letting Go Quotes

“The Tao Te Ching says, When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. Have you ever struggled to find work or love, only to find them after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God’s law.” – Mary Manin Morrissey

Treasured Memories

For sometime, I was skeptical about getting a tattoo. I was afraid to inflict pain on myself. I do admire people who are artistic and expressive, and even using their body as permanent canvases...although I am horrified at some tattoo designs, especially depicting the prince of darkness. 


It was not until I experienced something truly wonderful and memorable that I began to entertain the idea of getting that memory depicted and preserved for ever. And I am so glad I did it...finally.

Thank You So Much

I am so happy...words can't describe it...my heart somersaulted with joy, it flutters wildly as if it was trying to fly away...I know it would only be temporary, for soon reality would set in again, reminding me of the harshness of it. Nevertheless, I have so many things to be grateful for, and you are one of them. God is so good!

Follow the path less traveled

 Sneak peek into the elite community life 

In today's culture, youth are exposed to modernization and secularism. Few are attracted to be active in church organizations like the Youth, choir or other charismatic groups, let alone to deepen their spiritual life or enter a religious community for that matter. It is such a pity.The trainings that one could get from these exposures would not only prepare one to be a pious religious, but it could also provide one with a better understanding of oneself, acceptance, and reconciliation, and even prepares one for the rigours and responsibilities of parenthood.

I myself would never forget the experience I had with my early involvement in church activities, and later in a religious community.

Latest Special Medjugorje Message, May 2, 2011  - Our Lady's apparitions to Mirjana

“Dear children; God the Father is sending me to show you the way of salvation, because He, my children, desires to save you and not to condemn you. That is why I, as a mother, am gathering you around me, because with my motherly love I desire to help you to be free of the dirtiness of the past and to begin to live anew and differently. I am calling you to resurrect in my Son. Along with confession of sins renounce everything that has distanced you from my Son and that has made your life empty and unsuccessful. Say 'yes' to the Father with the heart and set out on the way of salvation to which He is calling you through the Holy Spirit. Thank you. I am especially praying for the shepherds, for God to help them to be alongside you with a fullness of heart. ”

A tribute to my maternal grandparents

This is an attempt to write my family history and to get to know my relatives. Much of the details in this article was provided by my aunt Beatrice kilat. I hope to improve on it soon...


ODU KONDILIM

My maternal grandmother's name was Kondilim. Her parents were Gumontod and Solimoi.The only known relative of Gumontod was his cousin Dumayan. Their fathers were brothers. Dumayan married Sokundoi and they had three children, Asou, Daliam and Katut. When Kondilim was married, her nopung was received by Asou. Asou was the grandfather of Rev. Fr. Rudolf Joannes, Sr. Laura Robert,FSP and soon-to-be Sr. Liza Robert,FSIC.

Fatima's prophetic mission not complete, Pope declares

For years I have been reading and following updates on apparitions around the globe. I owe my religiousity inclination to my mum, especially her Marian Devotion. Here is a post from the net that I found recently.

February 13th, 2011 by twohearts

Fatima, Portugal, May 13, 2010 / 10:16 am (CNA/EWTN News).- At Mass this morning in the Fatima shrine’s square, Pope Benedict said that it would be “mistaken” to consider the prophetic mission of the apparitions at Fatima complete. It continues to be relevant in that it continually invites men and women of good faith “to save the city of man,” he told the 500,000 people gathered for the feast of Our Lady of Fatima.

The Holy Father presided over Mass from the steps of the Church of the Most Holy Trinity in Fatima this morning. May 13, the Solemnity of Blessed Mary Virgin of Fatima and that of the Ascension, marks the 10th anniversary of the beatification of the shepherd-children Jacinta and Francisco.

The Heart Flutters

Hi dear...thanks you message me early am...to me its a choice to love you as you are, actually i was the first one fallin love with you even before you express to me yesterday...thats happen quite sometime, some years in the past without you knew it...thats why you have an instant respond from me, you cant be wrong...its already pure...i love you too... 12.1.2010 06:51am

Let Him Give You a New Beginning

Let Him Give You a New Beginning

Here is a reflection posted by a friend. I am grateful for all the guidance and understanding we have shared. More blessings and Godspeed!

Is 29:17-24 / Mt 9:27-31

There is not one of us who cannot look back on certain moments in our past that make us blush with embarrassment or downright shame. Sometimes it’s a matter as simple as a foolish idea that we clung to far too tenaciously and far too long. Sometimes it’s a hurt that we inflicted on someone without even thinking. Sometimes it goes much deeper and involves a profoundly wrong and harmful choice, whose consequences are still reverberating through the years. Whatever the issue, the sadness and shame can run deep and can linger for years, leaving us with the feeling that we’ll never be done with it and never leave it behind.

In today’s reading from Isaiah, God is speaking to that very kind of experience. He knows the darkness of soul that our mistakes can burden us with, and the loss of heart as well. So through Jacob, the father of Israel, he speaks to all of us. “Now Jacob shall have nothing to be ashamed of, nor shall his face grow pale…Those who err in spirit shall acquire understanding.”

God sees into our souls and knows our sins even more clearly than we do. He wants to heal our hearts and to wash away our sins. He wants to make us new, from the inside out, and He can do that if we will let Him. So relax in the Lord. Give Him your heart, and let Him give you a new beginning.

Words are not enough

~It is impossible to fall out of love, love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you, it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think you were once in love but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in~


~I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine, I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind, I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, the New..I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You~ 

mteverest